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Marriage tips for Parents of Toddlers

Uncategorized Dec 04, 2018

How does marriage change after having a baby?
What about when they enter toddlerhood?
When you have a baby, it can be challenging to juggle the new dynamics of parenthood and marriage.
I want to share a resource that I love with you that will help you zoom out and take a look at your marriage and how it has grown and changed after having kids. I am so excited to introduce you to my friend, Kensi Duszynski.
I have been listening to her podcast every week since the very first episode came out this summer. If you enjoy my teaching style, I think you are going to love listening to her.
Kensi is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified professional coach, and host of the Brave Marriage Podcast. Kensi specializes in working with engaged and married couples.
Her encouragement to couples in their first few years of marriage is to do proactive work on the front end, so that they can be intentional about building healthy habits and patterns now, to create and sustain strong marriages.
I highly recommend that people with toddlers go over and listen to your episode Episode #20 called, "From Couplehood to Parenthood."
Kensi, in that episode, you shared several really practical things that couples can do to transition well. You talked about blessing your spouse in the episode. Can you explain what you mean by that and how to do that?
Kensi: Sure! So the tip you're talking about is scheduling "me time" for each other. Essentially, blessing the other with time alone or time with friends. It's a really fun way to tell your spouse, "Hey, I value you, I appreciate how hard you work & I want to bless you with time to yourself." Plus, no one has to feel guilty about taking time away for themselves because it was a gift from your spouse! So the spouse can get away, do their thing, feel grateful to you that you helped make that happen for them, & feel refreshed & ready to take on the world again. :)
Here are a few questions to ask to make that happen: Does my spouse prefer "me time" or "friend time"? What does my spouse like to do & who with? What did he or she do more often before children? And how much time & money fit into our schedule & budget? At that point, all that's left to do is communicate it to your spouse! If your spouse enjoys surprises & you're someone who'd enjoy planning an hour or two away for your spouse, surprise them!
Or if your spouse is someone who needs a heads up, say something like, "I really appreciate what you do for our family and how you love our kids, so I'm gifting you an hour or two away to do what you want! And by the way, it's non-negotiable. :) I will watch the kids - all you need to do is let me know when works best so we can schedule into our week!
And you can present it as, "Hey honey, I heard this great idea & wondered if you'd want to do this for each other?!" or if you're up for it, you can simply bless your spouse with an hour or so, expecting nothing in return! Either way, whatever works for your marriage, this practical & really generous gesture, can be very meaningful for couples.
Adrienne: Thanks so much Kensi! I love those tangible examples! You can LISTEN + SUBSCRIBE to the Brave Marriage Podcast here or typing "Brave Marriage" into your podcast player app. Thanks Kensi!

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